Why I am Not a Victim.

I am not a victim. I may complain to my closest friends or my woman from time to time, but in general, I am where I am because of the choices I have made or because of my genetics. Now, according to some, I can't be a victim anyway. I am a straight, white, male and therefor I cannot experience anything negative in life or if I do, I somehow have it coming to me because insert SJW cause.

Here is the reality of that situation though. I am human. Just like my black friends, my gay friends, my Asian friends, my female friends, and even my children. Like all of them and all of you, I experience the whole of human emotion and am susceptible to the pains and diseases that the whole of the human population is.

I grew up in a home that was riddled with violence from my father and fear mongering religious insanity from my mother. I was frail and sickly, insecure and scared of my own shadow. I had no self esteem and often thought of killing myself.

As an adult, I have been betrayed, lied to, forgotten, and deathly ill. Still, I am not a victim. I get pissy about it from time to time and even have days where all I seem to do is complain that I am angry and over this shit. But I eventually get up, try again and figure it out.

As an adult blessed with sometimes crippling anxiety (please note heavy sarcasm) I have days when the seemingly simplest of things can set me off into a downward spiral. I wake up and within seconds of opening my eyes, waves of anxiety wash over me and I am tense to the point of causing myself a charming little migraine.

I text or call my girl and bitch and moan for a bit, send some sad faced emoticons and then find a way to force myself under the bar and into ever increasing weights until I have worked through it or had a full blown panic attack in the stifling heat of my garage. I am not a victim.

The world doesn't owe me because it doesn't understand me. I don't deserve free money because I feel like I can't work sometimes. Colleges aren't required to change things in an attempt to not trigger my former abusive past and religious trauma. I don't need antifa marching in the streets forcing people to feel bad for me because I am sensitive and broken. I am not a victim.

When my dreams were dashed and I was all but house bound for years, losing my dream, closing my business, facing my mortality with a young one and two older in tow, I was not a victim. I wrote about it a lot in a way to find sublimation and or healing or both but I was not a victim. I was angry and fearful but no one owed me their sympathy.

When it was given, it was appreciated of course and I have friends who have done 10x more than family in my quest for healing but again, they didn't owe me this. I was not a victim.

Here is the point I am making. I am not a victim and either are you. No one owes you compassion or money or life. We were lucky enough to have life. Sadly, many times our life sucks but the sun will rise and set each morning and night with or without our appreciation of it. The seasons will change and leaves and snow will fall with or without our notice. The spring will usher in new life even when ours has long since ended.

More often than not, especially if you are reading this, your life is probably more better than it is worse. I have the luxury and freedom to write this, you have the luxury and freedom to read it. Each moment offers us a chance to recreate our outlook. It offers us the chance to fail and grow anew. To seek new avenues of discovery and learning, to witness the shimmering moon or the purple sky at sunrise.

We are not victims. We have opportunity whether we choose to take it or not.

We are not victims and it is high time that we stop acting like them. We can protest day and night and complain in every breath in between but things will not change unless we change ourselves. Until we discover that neither we nor our neighbors are victims, we will never be conquerors. We will only be dogs begging at the table of masters for scraps.

Many will be satisfied with being spoon fed like a baby for their entire lives but hopefully some will grow and step away from the table. They will decide to take control of their own lives, do their own work, and improve themselves through acts of will instead of the demands of the entitled.

You are not a victim.


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